Sunday, June 01, 2008

The Third Anniversary...我的部落格三周年....ブログの三周年....

Above: A Photo from my Childhood; a primary school trip to the RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force Base) in Butterworth, Penang, Malaysia, circa pre-1995...i love the blk and white photo but i dun know y its not in colour cos i'm sure they had colour photos by the mid-90s!! But i love the black and white feel, feels like a photo from the 50s or 60s, right??

Last month, May, marked the Third Anniversary of this blog...i missed out on posting on my 2nd anniversary so i thought i wouldn't miss out this time!!

Time flies quickly by, i've experienced alot and changed alot in that time and so has my the beginning, I didn't write much personal stuff or anything much about my life...then I started to include more things on my life and became more frank in giving my opinions on issues,etc as I've always wanted to present a good image of myself online and censor alot of what information i think i should and can share with readers, and what i would rather leave out...entering the second year, I posted my first sad personal post and since then, have posted a handful more only...I've also added an abstract profile pic of myself as well as a class photo from my childhood primary school days as well , a revelation quite groundbreaking in my opinion..I will however still keep my private life and any downside of my life out of this blog but I shall continue to allow the rare one or two posts in the future as i've done in the past years...cos i know readers ( and i know as a reader, i do) want to read about the real life of bloggers and enjoy frank and personal anecdotes of their life and do not wanna just read polished up images in i shall continue to balance the need to set boundaries on my private life and what i can share with fellow readers as well as reveal the rare post or two which i feel my readers should know n should be able to share with me..

Also, I've changed the format and look of my blog in celebration of the third year anniversary and as you can see, the blog looks distinctively different now, and has had an extensive update and upgrading of functions, designs, and pictures, including a new header. I thought the blog needed a much-needed upgrade on functions as well as a whole-new look after 3 years of looking pretty much the same and hope readers like the new look!:)

I shall continue to upgrade and tinker with my blog for the next weeks to improve on it and will also be adding links to blogs, and other sites i visit or find useful (when i changed and upgraded my blog, all the previous blog/site links were deleted) in the coming wks...

Lastly, like I did on the occasion of my blog's 1st Anniv. please feel free to leave a comment with your email address or blog link if you would like to know me on a personal level or would like to have email correspondence with me. Like on my 1st anniv., I will be very willing to meet, email, and get to know my readers so do leave me a comment stating ur wish, dun worry, i shall delete all contact details when i copy them down (and if u own a blog, all u need is to direct me to ur blog email address!!) I only do this once a yr cos usually i dun correspond on a private level with readers/bloggers unless I email them directly cos i wanna know them or also read their blogs, or on an ad hoc basis at my discretion. And cos i missed out on my 2nd anniv. post, this is the first open invitation to all (bloggers, readers, passerbys) whom i shall reply ALL, in grab the chance, or you'll have to wait another yr or 2!!!! I'd love to hear from you.:):)

I hope my blog life will have many more years to's to Chinese Chic..!:)

Postscript: Din Tai Fung 鼎泰豐 has opened in Sydney!!! ( Finally! It opened 3 wks ago) I went to try it out this Fri night and boy was it packed!!! U wouldn't believe it! Cos i didn't make a booking (despite my fren asking me to cos i didnt think it'd be that popular) we had to wait 1 1/2 hrs for a table for 3 and it was still sharing with other ppl! I know, 1 1/2 hrs!! Thankfully my friend went first and got a waiting ticket and the food more than made up for it....gosh, i'll definitely be having Din Tai Fung like at least once a month now!! It's at World Sq second level, opens 7 days dinner time 5 30pm-9pm or 9 30pm depending on weekdays or fri/sat night. It was full of Asians/Chinese cos its on the 2nd level and not in the busy area n white aussies prob dun know how famous it is..we even spotted a HK famous director with his entourage eating there, talking with the owner of the Sydney branch..he is 高志森, Ko Chi-Sum, anyone heard of him?? food pics at my online photo album!!

Post-Postscript: I was also invited by my reader, aimlesswanderer, to go rock-climbing at St Leonards on Sunday (gosh!...i spent so much this week, din tai fung, karaoke, rock-climbing, lunch at italian place after rock-climbing...must save now..haha)..I had a great time and would like to thank him for the invitation, i just hope i didn't do too badly!! I enjoyed myself tons n am looking forward to going with him again in the next few mths time....he also bumped into a friend's friend of his at the rock-climbing place, and that friend brought along another friend, and boy, was he cute!! i guess that was a bonus of this rock-climbing experience, there was even one time when we were standing right beside each other and he was so friendly (he didn't know me) started a (albeit v. short) conversation on how it wasn't tiring holding on the ropes and then later agreeing with me that it indeed was! hahaha...i was hoping he'd talk to me given that he knows his fren knows aimlesswanderer and he sure did, he was cute...yes, aimlesswanderer, i didn't mention this to u at the rock-climbing thing cos i didn't wanna freak you out, believe me, i was concentrating then , i wasn't looking at guys, just that friend's friend's friend of yours...haha, what was his name again?? gosh, he was super cute ( i think he's aussie chinese??), had a good body, and a nice, friendly personality:)

Race, Interracial Relationships, and the Dynamics of Power...

I've been wanting to post about this topic for ages, but didn't because I didn't want to offend anyone. But given that its my 3rd yr anniversary now (for my blog, i mean) i've decided to finally write this post. I have gradually loosened up on what I write about anyways and have written more frankly and included more information about myself since when i first started this blog and so feel its time i write completely honestly and frankly about ALL issues from now on. I will speak my mind honestly and won't censor just because i dun wanna offend readers cos i feel just becos i dun write about it doesn't mean i dun think that way and my fearing readers will hate me because of my personality and/or opinions on certain issues should no longer be a barrier towards me writing honestly on issues and topics ( i shall however, continue to keep my personal life out of my blog, except for the rare occasional post which i've done in the past 3 yrs, merely a handful really..)

Well, the thing is, I've a big problem with interracial relations based on a commonly associated 'dominant' race such as Caucasians, and a commonly associated 'weaker' race such as South East Asians or South Asians...And I mean I ONLY have a problem when its a WHITE MAN, no problems if it were a white female with an Asian, Indian, etc be honestly truthful, I find it disgusting and feel like vomiting whenever i see white men with younger asian women (or younger asian gay men/boys)...i mean how disgusting is that??!

I know, I seem like such a prejudiced horrible biased person and i do feel bad feeling this way but i can't help it!! I am always embarassed when i tell friends this and am so afraid they'll dislike me after, but hey, at least i'm being honest heh? My biggest problem is with the age gap and the income/power disparity between the white man and the other Asian half...i mean u see so many old white men (not to mention unattractive) with younger (like 10,20-30 years younger!!) beautiful asian women and even more common asian gay men everywhere, its like the older powerful deep-shit ugly white male getting the oh-so-submissive oriental china doll, wtf??!! I mean why in the world would the asian like the white guy? I can understand the white guy going for the asian, given the youth of the asian but why vice-versa??

I pin it down to what i call 'the white disease syndome' . Basically, it works like this, with all the positive images of white people in the media and the world's richest countries still being predominantly white, it influences the way non-whites perceive whites as more desirable, more good-looking, more attractive and so non-white, short of being able to 'become' white themselves, seek to marry or be in a relationship with white ppl to elevate their status...of course, all this is subconscious and I am in no way suggesting those with white men are actively scheming to get into a relationship with them, just that the fact that they can find old, not particularly rich white men attractive is a result of their subconscious having been influenced by the media and their environment. It also shows the power dynamics at play whereby its almost always a white MALE (men being associated with power and domination) with an Asian female or younger gay male playing the bottom role (being associated with submissiveness and docility).

I used to dislike these white men immensely, i mean how dare they take advantage of asian younglings? But then its become more complicated as i've matured and i now no longer blame them that much...i mean who wouldn't want a younger looking attractive mate when given one?? All men do, not just white ones.....and further, i also feel the same way about richer asian men (japanese, taiwanese, korean) practically buying (oops, i meant 'marrying') poorer asian women (vietnamese, filipinos, etc) and know they're just the same as white men with asians younger than them...but in the former case, its one where the poorer asian women are clearly in it for the money, to give themselves a better life as well as provide a better living condition for their families by sending money home whereas in the latter case, its the asians willingly submitting themselves and falling for these ugly white men...i just find the latter case more disturbing...and i should blame the younger asians for this since there is no reason for them liking ppl like that but yet i've met many whom are nice people and profess they've never wanted or actively limited themselves to white men...its just so confusing....i used to know this gay guy, he's from china and poor but very nice, hardworking, works to support himself, studies hard, and he had a white bf in his 40s and then later broke up and found another one in his 50s (even worse!!) but he told me he wasn't submissive in bed all the time and never restricted himself to white men, or older ones for that matter...and i've found many tell me they've never found white men particularly attractive or found asian men unattractive and its just so confusing!! It simply didn't fit my theory of the 'white disease syndrome' at all!! And so now i'm thoroughly confused and still dislike these relationships but having conflicted feelings cos i actually like the people in them ( well, i've only known the asian partners so i like them more)...

I actually don't have a problem if its an average looking white male with another asian female/male IF there's not such a huge gap in terms of their looks, age, or other terms such as income I think i've to make that a 27 yr old average/good looking white bloke with another 24 yr old asian female (or gay asian man) isn't a real problem for me...although it'd be nice if it wasn't ALWAYS the white male with the asian girl...u see it everywhere, be it in China, Japan, or South Korea...the white man with an asian girl in tow..but its improving though, cos it used to be that an unsuccessful pretty poor average to poor looking Caucasian male English teacher in Japan or South Korea could get a nice looking asian female, but thats changing now...
asian women tend to be more selective now and expect more...

However, with the gay front, its still the case of the older richer white man with the younger comparatively poorer asian boy/man...which is pretty sick in my opinion...i read that in Japan, those white guys whom couldn't get the sexy studs back home can easily bed (or at least have a chance to chat) with a sexy japanese gay guy in the bars...and nothing is more obvious on the power dynamics and racism in these relationships than this article i read about how ugly old white men in gay clubs in Canada now usually have more success getting darker skinned asians, those from thailand, vietnam, indonesia,etc than fairer skinned richer asians, such as chinese, japanese, and s.koreans...i mean how obvious is that on the racial point i'm making??

And furthermore, i heard that older white men whom wouldn't even dare to chat up some young uber cute-looking guy bck home in the States, or wherever, have the courage to approach young good-looking asian men in the clubs, i mean if not race, then what???

Of cos, these asians are to blame too, its like prostitution, when the lowest denominator is set low, the entire group of people (even those whom dun have the white worship thingy) suffer...i mean it makes some white men think that ALL asians find them attractive despite the age, appearance gap...

Please note that I'm fine with white-asian relationships where there's no huge disparity in age, appearances,etc and similarly, condemn richer asian men (chinese,japanese,etc) with poorer asian women (vietnamese, filipinos,etc) and so its an exploitation issue i'm pointing to, not a white men issue cos if it were a chinese or japanese man, i'd still be unaccepting of it.

I once again apologise in advance if i've offended anyone and simply wished to state my opinion and maybe have a discussion with readers on this admittedly controversial but yet much-needed issue..and given the gradual progression towards a more open attitude on writing on my blog and on this 3rd year blog anniversary, I thought the time was now right...

I know some people will nevertheless still call me racist, but let me ask a simple question:
Which is more racist, relationships based very much on the preference of race despite huge gaps be it age, appearance or financial power, or the frank perception of whats really at play in these kind of relationships and finding the pattern working here?

Feel free to leave comments, I'd love to hear what others think and particularly from white men (or richer asian men) in relationships like this.:)